THE KRSNA EXPERIENCE PART 1: Origins

I can't really remember the first time I heard the Hare Krsna Maha-Mantra. I'm sure it was through the George Harrison song "My Sweet Lord". Some of my earliest memories from when I was a child was my mom singing me The Beatles and Stevie Wonder songs. Once when I was around 10 years old I remember leading a band of kids through my neighborhood streets on my first sankirtan procession chanting a butchered version of Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare. At the time I was doing it to be funny, little did I know only 6 years down the line I would be doing it through the streets of New York City.

As a kid I was raised Catholic, my parents were not very strict with religion but an initial value that there was some sort of "God" was instilled in me. Back then I guess I envisioned God as some old guy with a beard floating on a cloud who would strike me with a bolt of lightning if I did wrong and would award me with a new Star Wars toy if I did well. Such a warped vision was all my childhood brain could conjure up with the information that was being handed to me in church and class. I went to Catholic school till around 4th grade when my parents pulled me out due to the abuse of the teachers. Once I was made to sit in class as I pissed my pants because we were only allowed 2 bathroom visits a day. I never read this doctrine in the Holy Bible, I must have missed the part were Jesus warned of having to urinate too frequently.

Around 1986 I was introduced to hardcore punk through skateboarding. The combination of entering my teenage years and the rebellious message of hardcore music would make for what some may call a unfortunate mixture. I found myself more on the edge of societies norm's. Being into skating, surfing, hardcore, hip-hop, etc. I was what I would call an accepted outcast. I was friendly with people in all the social classes in school, sometimes not out of genuine friendship but maybe out of fear. Fear of being bullied, fear of being beat up, etc. I played the game of the social circus with one foot in the ring and one foot out. The more I dove into the alternative lifestyles of skateboarding and hardcore the more I grew apart from the blindly lead sheep of my day.

So by the time I hit High School in 1988 I was quickly becoming more of a freak I guess. Once I got there it pretty much snowballed. You had your guidos, jocks, burn-outs, preps, surfers, skaters, new wavers, goths and hardcore punks. I never really defined myself as anything in my mind but was just really heavily influenced by skateboarding. So that is were my affiliation with hardcore came from, I was already into Hip Hop before hardcore since 1984 when my cousin turned me onto Breakdancing and Run Dmc. From 88-90 I pretty much skated, surfed and listened to music. That was my life.

Along the way something very horrible and traumatizing to say the least had happened to my family. I cannot say exactly what for the protection of others but this event would crush my entire vision of reality, it would shatter my heart to pieces. I was a kid and already had problems in my own mind with OCD and Depression which I didn't know how to deal with nor talk about. With this new demon added to the mix all I wanted to do was get away, get away from everything. Get away from my school, get away from the suffering of my family, get away from my mind, my pain...just get away!
1990 was the year I went to my first show, it was at City Gardens in Trenton, New Jersey. My friend Greg and I among others went to see Bad Brains and Leeway and my life was altered forever. After that point we pretty much lived for going to shows at either City Gardens, Middlesex County College and the occasional show at St. Peters Church in Point Pleasant. I had found my escape and outlet for all my pain and misunderstanding.

Some of my favorite bands were Bad Brains, Sick of it All and Underdog. As well as all the youth crew bands especially Youth of Today. Through my love for Youth of Today I got my hands on Ray's new band's record, Shelter "Perfection of Desire". I don't really know what it was about this record. The sound, the emotion in his voice, the lyrical content, the imagery or the Stambha Das lectures at the end of the CD. Whatever it was my mind was cracked open. I was in love with this band and would play the record non stop, day in and day out. Along with Shelter came a whole crop of new more progressive hardcore bands on Revelation Records. Quicksand, Burn and yet another Krsna inspired band Inside Out. Again I feel in love with Inside Out. The combination of Shelter and Inside Out would be the finger pointing me in the direction I was about to tread.

My friend Greg had gone back to Brick Memorial for his Junior year and was given a few books by resident hardcore kid/Krsna/Tattoo artist Kevin Craig. He then passed a book on to me. The book was called "Civilization and Transcendence" and once I read it all I wanted to do was get to the Hare Krsna temple. I was already Straight Edge, I just became Vegetarian and I was still a virgin so I thought "fuck it" I can do this. The art work, the talk of this pure devotional love, reincarnation, rejecting the materialism of modern society and living a spiritual life really appealed to me. The emotional pain I felt coupled with my declining faith in the American Dream and my disgust with societal norms was a strong catalyst for a spiritual journey. Little did I know how hard a path it would be to walk and the many twist, turns, victories and failures that were in front of me. Nor was I ready for the rejection I would face on this path.

THE KRSNA EXPERIENCE PART 2: 1991-92

The first time I went to a Hare Krsna temple was in the fall of 1991. I went up to the Brooklyn ISCKON temple with Greg Cole, Alex (Kevin's girlfriend) and Kevin Craig as the pilot. The drive alone was an adventure, Kevin pretty much drove like an insane person and if you kept your eyes open you were scared shitless. He had this beat up little car, I think it was a Chevette. They seemed the staple vehicle for skaters and hardcore punks back then. It wasn't like today were 17 year kids are driving brand new SUV's, your first car was a beater. Most likely your 2nd and 3rd were as well. When we got to the temple there were not many people there. It was a Wednesday night program so it wasn't as packed as Sunday's. When I walked in the smell of incense and the prasadam (vegetarian food offered to Lord Krsna) filled the air. I loved the smell. We walked downstairs to use the bathroom and that is when I met my first Hare Krsna monk, or Brahmacari. His name was Bhakta Erik and he was other-worldly to say the least. He had this energy about him, he was very gentle and peaceful, honestly I had never encountered anyone like that at that point in my life. I haven't encountered many people like him to this day. He spoke very soft and it was like he was floating on a cloud only he could see. He put his Japa Beads in my hand, showed me how to hold them correctly and taught me how to chant the Maha-Mantra. I sat and chanted Japa for the first time and Bhakta Erik sat and watched with a big smile on his face.

Soon after we headed upstairs to the temple room were the deities of Radha Govinda resided. I bowed as I entered the temple and a kirtan was just getting started. We chanted, sang and danced for over an hour. It was a wonderful feeling. Bhakta Erik played the trumpet in the Kirtan. Although it was not a traditional Indian instrument he told me any instrument could be used to glorify Krsna's Holyname.
After the Kirtan was a lecture on the philosophy of Krsna Consciousness and with the lessons being taught seeds were planted in my mind. After the lecture we all went downstairs and enjoyed the vegetarian feast. We talked and listened. Mainly I listened very intently to all the new information I was receiving on this ancient spiritual culture from the East. Before we left I had purchased my own set of Japa beads and some new books as well. Growing up on the Jersey Shore you were a bit sheltered from the diversity of life that existed in the cities and other urbanized areas. I felt like I had been introduced to something very special...and I had been.
After this first visit the weekly ritual was every Wednesday after school an Sunday afternoons we would head to the temple with our 4 man crew. Sometimes others would hitch a ride as well. The Sunday programs were always packed with so many different people. People from all cultures, races, economic backgrounds, social scenes, etc would all come together in unity to praise Lord Krsna. It felt so good to see so many people that would otherwise be kept apart coming together. This was the beauty of Krsna Consciousness to me, this unifying factor based on the realization that we were "not these bodies" but actually eternal spiritual beings in these bodies. Not only were we eternal spiritual beings but we were also part of "God" and we were all connected, we were all "One".

This philosophy really appealed to me. Hardcore music had seemed to ignite a flame of thought in me and a search for a truth deeper than what was on the surface. Now I was diving head first into something much greater than anything I had ever experienced before.

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